My Faith

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” Phillipians 1:6

If we only knew, right? We all wish we could see the future and how our lives will turn out, to see what God’s “completion” looks like for us. But it doesn’t work that way, even though I often look back and think “I should have seen that coming.” I should have known I’d marry that guy I met a 19, he’d own his own business and I’d chase his 3 kids around all day at home (in yesterday’s tank top with 3 day hair and a Dr. Pepper in hand). I don’t know God’s plan for me, but I know He’s called me to do His work as a believer, wife and momma, and most recently, blogger. And I have faith that I was born for just such a time as this. So I pray.

I pray everyday I don’t take the mundane mommy moments for granted. That God gives me the strength and the attitude to enjoy even the craziest times in this short season of our lives. For every struggle of a stage with my kids there’s also a blessing that goes along with it, and when one’s gone so is the other. When I won’t HAVE to wake up to nurse them in the middle of the night…again…and again, I also won’t GET to hold them in my arms and snuggle their tiny, perfect body while they look at me with eyes full of contentment.

I pray that God helps me be the wife and mom He’d have me to be, because even your dream job is full of struggles, doubts, high expectations, failures and moments of weakness. Satan has a plan for my life (especially as a wife and mom) and is constantly filling my head with fiery, sugar coated lies but God has a plan for my life too and His word is full of truth that quenches our mind, body and soul if we stop and take a drink.

I ask God to watch over my husband and his servant’s heart as he gives of himself day in and day out to provide for our family spiritually, emotionally and financially and rarely complains. I ask God to let my greatest blessings, the kids He’s trusted us with raising, bless the lives of others everyday. Some days that’s smiling and waving at a stranger (or every stranger) in Walmart. Other days that’s reminding me how blessed I am when I have forgotten. Or giving me grace I don’t deserve after a mad momma rampage. Or being so quick to forgive when I mess up over and over.

I’m thankful for Godly parents who raised me in a home full of love and forgiveness. And for the church family, grandparents and role models growing up that helped lay a Christian foundation for my life, because I know now what a blessing that is and that’s not everyone’s story. And for our church home and church family today as I continue to grow and our children begin their journeys.

I’m thankful for D-Group and the discipleship and accountability and growth and friendships God has brought to my life from meeting in a home with a handful of ladies each week. The relationship with Christ that I now know more fully than I ever have. The open communication I get to experience with God each day. The scripture I’ve written on my heart by reading his word like never before. The tests God’s put before me as I stepped out in faith. The pruning that God did, some really painful, so he could produce fruit in my life. The struggles of good and evil in my life that God’s declared victory over. And how it has changed my life, our marriage, our family, our business, our finances and every aspect of my life by simply seeking God and his will for me each and every day. Even on the days I mess up, or set him aside and try to handle it myself, he still shows up, and loves me more than I can ever imagine.

I pray I always look for the best in situations and people, and remember there’s always something to be thankful for. That I don’t ask “why” when I wonder just that but trust that God is in control and know He’s gone before me. And sometimes it’s ok not to be ok, as long as we keep going and are real with ourselves and others.

I’m thankful for the spiritual gifts He’s blessed me with and pray I make the most of each opportunity to use them. I pray that I can tune out the world, and life, and myself daily to hear Him and His plan for my life. And that my obedience bring others to Christ and they see “How Great is Our God…” I pray for a boldness to share my faith and what God has done in my life because you never know if you’re planting the seed, helping cultivate it or going to be the one to help reap the harvest.

When I was 7 years old I sat on our couch with my daddy and prayed and asked Jesus into my heart. I’ve gotten a lot of skinned knees in my walk with Him in the 25+ years since but my faith continues to grow. I still have a lot to learn about being a Christian but I know no matter what Jesus loves me and I strive daily to share that love with others. I hope my kids see Him in me, and the people I see on my vacations to Tom Thumb or when I’m at the shop working or with friend they see him in me too, and that you see Him here. That everything I do would point others to Jesus. That I can share what he’s done in my life and continues to do, both big and small, and that he gives me the courage to keep sharing. That I can be vulnerable, and broken, and a hot mess. That I can be a bad wife or terrible mom sometimes and still show how God can redeem each thing I do, even when I mess up, to bring him glory and honor. Afterall, it’s my brokenness and shortcomings in all of those things that made me realize a few years ago that I needed him more than ever.

I had Jesus in my heart for decades before I fully understood the power I had in that. I was sitting on my couch one day in tears with a 2 year old and teething 7 month old twins while my husband was out of town when I finally got it. He would help me if I just asked. I couldn’t do it on my own and I didn’t have to. He might not change the dirty diapers but he would give me the strength to do it. He might not get my husband home but he could continue to send us business that required Matt to travel and let us pay our bills and give me the encouragement I needed to face another day alone with 3 babies. He had been there all along I just didn’t want to set my control and pride aside and give it to him. He knows what I need far better than I do. He never grows tired or weary. He never runs out of love. He never gives up. He never fails. And with him neither do I. I don’t have to know what I’m doing, I just have to ask and listen, and he will show me. I don’t have to have all the answers, he will give me all the wisdom I need.

A month or so ago as I was preparing to relaunch my blog, after God reminding me for over a year I needed to do just that, she asked what my life verse was. I gave her a blank stare and was embarrassed to say I had no clue. I have never thought about it. Sure, I had lots that I loved and clung to often, but a life verse? That sounded like a lot of commitment. A few days later God put one on my heart, and it spoke to me when I looked it up to read it. It was what I tried to do each day. It was what I struggled with and what gave me hope. And it turns out, I was on a magnet I bought years ago that is on my fridge, but now that it has been there for a while I don’t notice it anymore. God made sure I noticed. And then made sure I remembered he had given me that verse days before. And that it was his call for my life. That each of my days on earth I should spend doing what Paul wrote there, and those words Paul wrote, God gave him for me. I’m so grateful he put me in my living room overwhelmed by motherhood and had me acknowledge I needed him, and that he promises to make my paths straight when I give him everything.

In my great grandmother’s Bible, on the inside cover, I found this when I first sat down at our kitchen table to begin my blog journey in 2015:

My favorite verse listed there is John 1:11-12

“Even in his own land and among his own people, the Jews, he was not accepted. Only a few would welcome and receive him. But to all who received him, he gave the right to become children of God. All they needed to do was trust him to save them.”

If you don’t know Jesus I’d love to introduce you. He loves you more than you know. He came to Earth as God in human flesh to die on the cross for each of us. He paid the ultimate price for our sins, to save us, so we can spend eternity in heaven if we only believe. He’s everything we could ever want or need and his good news it too good not to share. You don’t have to do it by yourself. He wants to help you. He was born to help you. He died to help you. And, the best part is he lives to help you.

I’d love to hear how you met Jesus or introduce you if you haven’t met the truest friend you can ever have.